I'm Jamaican, and I've been living in Japan for 10 years now. My wife is Japanese, and we have two young sons. 

A Warm Encounter at the Park 

It was a sunny Saturday evening. We had just finished playing football with my 2-year-old and set up a picnic mat on the lawn to enjoy some sweet egg 

sandwiches. A couple of people passed by, smiling at the sight. Then an old man stopped his bicycle and spoke to my son in Japanese, asking if his sandwich tasted good and commenting on the weather. I took the moment in and reflected on how pleasant it is to have warm interactions with strangers. Young kids often bring out gentle emotions in others, especially those who don't have to take care of them.

A Colder Glance 

A few minutes later, an old lady walked past in a mask. She looked at me and my family with what seemed like disdain, then quickly trotted away. I almost remarked to my wife that Japanese people can be cold, but then I remembered the warm interaction just moments before. Two distinct encounters had just taken place, yet I was ready to draw a conclusion based on only one and one that was pure speculation. I could have misinterpreted her expression, and I had no idea what was going on in her mind.

The Lesson 

It reminded me that we are likely to find what we are looking for. If you come to Japan expecting insincere people who dislike foreigners, you will surely find them. If you come looking for kindness and love, you will find that too. Japan, like everywhere else, is filled with all kinds of people going through all kinds of situations. Yes, cultural norms differ from other societies, but that doesn't change the fact that individuals vary widely.

Different Perspectives 

I've spoken to tourists who swear Japanese people are all helpful and welcoming. I've also spoken to tourists who felt isolated or discriminated against, with no one willing to sit beside them on trains. I myself have experienced both extremes. My conclusion: Japanese people are just people. Some are really nice, others not so nice. Some are hardworking and helpful, others entitled and grumpy. And if we're honest, at times we've all been each of 

these things. 

Choosing What to Focus On 

It's up to us what we choose to fixate on. As my park encounter taught me, we often find what we're searching for. I don't suggest pretending the world is perfect, but I do think it's wise to give more energy to the positive. Naturally, the negative will slowly fade. Have you had any similar reflections? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Mata ne!